Back on the writing. I feel my mind is saturated with ideas and they just need to come out, I need to express myself and I am not ashamed to leave a piece of me on this blog. If I write about something it is because I am ready to share my story, my pain, the wins, the wisdom gained, not sure if anyone cares, but here is a piece of me again. Hope you enjoy.

As the title says “broken”, yes, I am still a little bit broken, my wounds are not totally healed and before anyone judges me, I just want to say that I am working on myself, I do not harm anyone, and yes, at age 37 I still have issues to resolve. As mentioned before the good thing is I don’t do any harm to anyone, the issues are on my mind, and I am working on them.

I want to say that everyone has a past and not everyone has a perfect past with perfect decisions. We all go through stages and make mistakes, and hopefully if everything goes right, we learn from them.

Learn from them, yes, that is where the difference relays on. The people who learn and grow and people who live the same way everyday, repeating mistakes, complaining, and not making changes, making oneself a victim. I understand, sometimes it is just so easy to blame our life, and our circumstances on others, I know I have done it, but the truth is we are the one’s that decide and have to look for a way out, a way to be better and be at peace.

I understand that some have it easier than others, and sometimes their circumstances make them see or think that there is no way out but there is always a choice. I am not going deep into circumstances and situations as I am deviating a bit from what I am trying to write about.

December 2021 and I realize my anxiety, my power of trusting and letting things be is tough for me, makes my stomach hurt, sometimes I think is auto sabotage, and can’t get used to being happy, I feel I always have to find something, but for what?

So, yes, I am back with my therapist because I want to be better, I want to learn on how to deal with my own thoughts. I know it has to do with fear and not having control. I guess I am an overthinker, I am just afraid to fall and that there is no one there to catch me.

I do not like to feel vulnerable and exposed, not sure if I could handle another heartbreak.

I know, the future is not set on stone, and we must take risks, if not then why are we even here, right? One thing I do know is that I deserve to be happy, and I am right now, and I don’t want to lose that.