Hello Beautiful People, it has been a long time since I wrote. I must admit that I was not feeling myself, and it was hard to do the things that I like and enjoy. I was not feeling motivated, and sitting around doing nothing made me want to keep doing nothing. I found that I was not enjoying myself, and was on a bad mood, or let’s say on a whatever mood, so after a few days maybe couple weeks I decided it was time to call my psychologist again.

Let’s start by saying that going to a psychologist does not mean that something terrible is going on with you, on the contrary I see it as a means to get better, to set your mind straight and clear, and be able to talk about your deepest fears without judgement. For me is a safe place, a place were I can talk, and I will be ask the right questions to my wandering mind, and that way I can find my way back.

The first time I went to see a psychologist was probably when I was 22 or 23 years old, and if you have read my previous blog about “The Wolf”, well he was the main reason I went to seek help. I remember I told only 2 people, did not mention it to my family and I only went once. I was seeking for help, I wanted to set my mind on the right path, but I had the wrong idea about what going to see a therapist meant, so I never went back, until 2018.

2017 was a tough year for me mentally, I think that is the year my mind was like “You know what, I can’t handle it anymore, we need help”. It was the year I had to face all my doubts, my insecurities, my fears, my losses. That year hit me hard, but guess what, I still said to myself that I was fine.

By mid 2018, I realized I needed to stop running, and I needed to fix myself, I needed to find help from someone who understands the mind, so I booked my appointment with my amazing therapist.

I started feeling relieved, energized, started exercising, and found motivation to be better, I think I went to 6 sessions and then I had to stop because I went back to work. I went back with a different mind set and everyone noticed, people said I seem happier, and had lost weight, so therapy did me good.

I went back one more time in 2018 and my therapist said, well you are alright so if you feel you need me again just give me a call.

And know we are in 2020, and I did call her back, I needed to that motivation again, and work another part of me, the part I blocked long time ago, but is basically part of my major problem, love, love to myself. So, here I am 2020 November 13th, and working out my past, so I can accept my present and find my future.

Staying at home since March (because of Covid) has definitely made me face myself, and it was scary. Used to working non-stop, 2 month vacation, then going back to work, then 2 month vacation, going back to work, and then Pandemic, so the cycle was broken and life made me ask me “What is next? Who am I without my job?” I was/am facing myself, my pure self, and I realize I had neglected me, and had put myself before others, and I am learning to accept me, to lose my fears, heal my wounds, and most important find myself.

If you ever feel lost, do not be afraid to reach out to a therapist, psychologist, if you can do it, I do recommend it. The mind also needs healing, it is like going to the doctor when something aches or hurts.

I know that this year, a lot of people have seek help from therapists because of Covid, it definitely has been a strange year, but it has also brought us to face each other, to face our reality, and adapt to survive.

Thank you all for reading! Wish you the best!